syfa forever

salam..just a short post for tonite ..... a few things i want to write here,if u think this is will make you feel annoying,feel free to go,i nvr asked u to read my post..

1- im just feel my life is suck!!i lost my old me ... too much thinking,i cant focus for what i doing rite now,everything is just like "melepas batuk ditangga" i just do what i have to do.,one of my friend just ask me to talk with someone or just see a counselor,,and i've  been thinking about this and take too much time,i just scared to talk...but i know,i have too,give me time.

2- my prob is when i keep blaming my past, i know,this is not the right way, i keep blaming myself too..

3- we need more time for our self,i dont want to live like this forever,will find a way out from all this fukcing mess!! 

4- i knew my freind being sad rite now, something happen, she dont want to tell me , i oredi know, i dont like when this happen to my friend, i always wanna make my friend smile and happy, always pray for her,may allah ease everythng baby.

5- i asked my mother if i can go to palestine someday,i expect she never allowed me to go,but her answer is like a green light for me "everything will happen when you in palestine,are you ready for that?" "inshallah mak,its better than i just sit and scroll everything on the internet".

6-  im not trying to be "omputih" or change my life style into "omputih, i am just trying to learn about english, so please, im stat from zero, and now alhamdulillah i can write like this,but still got nervous when i have to speak english..hehehe...

7- i feel more pain now, i hope someone will come to me and punch/kick me hard!!so i hope that pain come from my fizikal will make me forget about pain in my heart.

8- everything happen for a reason baby..

9- people can give some advice,but only you can change youself..if only "change" is easy,so i dont have to ask any advice.. i dont trust people,after what i got, tq for everything you had done to me,its priceless!!